Not Inevitable
by ReidFan24-7
Summary: When life just becomes to difficult to handle and there is no one to turn to, what is there left for a 12 year old Spencer Reid to do? *Temporarily Complete*


I have been reading from many different profiles and stories with serious messages behind there fan fiction storied. I decided to write one. I usually do not affiliate in this area but decided to give this a shot in the hopes a well known lesson is further enforced. This is through Spencer's point of view.

When life just becomes to difficult to handle and there is no one to turn to, what is there left for a 12 year old Spencer Reid to do.

Warnings: Mature content. Vague triggers and Mentions of bullying. Serious content

When It Becomes Too Much

 **Not Inevitable**

...

I sit here and look at all the people around me. We are all the same age, all from the same place. We have grown up together and have gone to the same school all our lives. There's a mixture of both black, white, and any one over or in between. But it doesn't matter. I was not raised to see color. To discriminate.

I see both blue eyes and brown. Green and gray. I see bodies of large and small, faces of round and square. Both smooth and charred complexions.

There are some kids who are taller, more built then all the rest. With thick shoulders, beefy arms and flashing white smiles. Louder, deeper voices that drone out the smaller, weaker ones.

There are some kids who are tiny and frail. Those who have slender arms, curved backs and wear the same tattered clothes to school each and every day.

There are those who have it all. A large home, full of treasures both gold and flesh. A place where they can return and be welcomed and praised by their loved ones. Minds consumed by homework, studying, the trivial troubles of school and friends, that of which will simply be forgotten. Those gifted with a life so at peace.

Then there are those who hide their faces, hold their head down and retain eye contact with the floor because they are afraid. From home, a place of utter madness full of fighting and fear, to a school containing so much of the same. A mind distracted by 'if I will eat tonight, not when.' or 'I don't know if he will be sober..." The uncertainty of his next meal. The pain delt by an abusive father. Where there is nowhere to turn, no one to turn to.

Or there are the ones who simply fade into the back ground. Make but the slightest impact on the world. Speak only when spoken to, listen to what is being said. Live outside of the crowd yet somehow blend right in. Somehow avoid the torment and evil of real life. Survive and get through.

Then there is me.

I don't understand, it would seem. Live and learn amongst these people that I am so similar to, humans both bleeding the same blood, yet find myself an outcast.

How is it I am alone? Divided by my age, my intelligence, my gifts, by a group of individuals who have but the same problems.

Who desperately crave acceptance. Who desire it so much they find common ground in exploiting me.

If there is someone weaker and more different, turn the attention to them. Let them suffer all that you are to weak to resist.

Brought to my knees, beaten every single day. "You little F..." Called horrible names I have done nothing to deserve.

What is it that I have done to make them all want to treat me this way?!

I find myself waking each day, arriving home to a place, to a mother I can not fully turn to. She is not well on this day. She is in the middle of one of her episodes yelling and screaming at me.

"Where is he?!" She shrieked. I stare at her from the doorway, clutching the wood tightly in my fingers. "Where is he?! Where is Spencer? Where is my Spencer?!" She held a spoon as if it were a weapon up to me, malice in her eyes.

"Please Mom! It's me, it's Spencer!" I cry. But she doesn't believe me and I am sent running from the house, exiled to be alone and afraid without her.

I want it to be over. But it must get better, doesn't it?

Day by day.

A fist comes my way right when I arrive at school. My head jerks back as an incredible pain overwhelms my face. I cry out and grab my nose in my hands. They come away full off blood and I look up to see them laughing. All of them.

Where are the teachers?

I see one standing by, close enough to know what was going on yet choosing to ignore it. I see kids watching, waiting. Saying nothing.

As I look around at them, they look away. Their eyes tell me they know it's wrong. Yet none risk themselves.

I want my mom. I want someone to comfort me, bring me into their arms and say it's all going to be okay even when I know it won't be.

 _I want it to be over, but not yet. I will still fight._

Day by Day.

Its getting dark out but I find myself roaming the streets. I'm too afraid to return home. I look at all the houses I pass by, see the families inside laughing and eating dinner around the table. Watching TV together on the couch. Or just sitting together.

I feel a sick feeling inside me, but try to ignore it. I keep walking, but find I can not look at anymore houses. I feel as if I look at them long enough, maybe, just maybe I will find what I see when I return home. It had become far too much and I turn around and head home, knowing tranquillity and peace is not what I will find.

 _Is any of it even worth it anymore?_

Day by Day.

Alexa Lisbin wants to meet me. The hottest girl in school. Deep down, I know it can't be true. Why would she want to see me? But I push those thoughts away, much to excited to care.

I do as I am instructed, close my eyes and wait behind the field house. Just as Harper Hillman told me to. I hear a voice: the sweet, delightful voice of...I open my eyes.

The whole football team, the entire student body is staring right back at me. Alexa Lisbin is but another face in the crowd.

I try to run, escape. But am unable. Suddenly beefy arms are holding me still, one around each of my twiggy ones. My shirt is torn and pulled away. I'm screaming. Now, my chest is bare. Then my shoes, my socks are pulled away. I'm kicking and thrashing. Then my pants. I'm in my underwear.

"PLEASE! DONT! STOP!" I scream and scream, fighting against my captors. Trying to be heard over the laughter.

But the boxers come off.

I feel numb as rope is tied around my wrists, as I feel something cool and steel press against my naked body.

"Open your eyes you little..."

I do and I look at the entire school before me. Fully exposed, helpless as they just laugh.

It has become too much.

No more...no more...

I will not do this anymore.


End file.
